2011-09-30 
I have always been so emotional and sensitive, I was not proud of it and felt embarrassed to express myself. Yes, I am an emo gay.
People have been stereo typing emo's as gay and gays as emo's, which at
first I never understood. It was very hard for me to let the true me
shine, I needed to out myself as an emo and also out myself as gay. What
was I supposed to do? I was panicking! I went on and checked out the
internet for answers, I know it was shallow but it was the only place I
could go to. Eighty nine point nine percent of the things I saw and read
online were about emo bashing, gay bashing, and gay-emo bashing. Where
was I supposed to go? I wandered around like I was a hamster with no
where else to go to but a loop and no one to talk to by myself. I almost
thought I was going crazy.
I have read an article somewhere describing and talking about the origin and the present phase of emo's and it read like this: "Originally, emo was a style characterized as a genre of rock with very emotional (hence the term "emo") and melodic lyrics, song writers of this kind of music often used their songs to confess what they have been doing and express the pain and hatred they felt. There's a lot of other sub-category in this genre like emocore, screamo, emopop, et cetera. Nowadays, emo is often knotted with the music and fashion. Not only that, they are cute as hell and can also be as wild as a honey badger in bed. I would like to introduce to you the emo gay boys. Their style is usually described as having a specific get up; they always wear an all-black matching clothes but sometimes would wear statement (ie: I hate the world; No one cares; Nobody will ever understand; I cut to feel alive) shirts that are very bright with skinny jeans or leg hugging pants, dark red or black eye make-up, and studded accessories of crosses or broken hearts. The most notable feature of their fashion is their hairstyle, the side swept bangs that covers one or both eyes, extra straightened and dyed jet black, or extreme bright colors such as red, pink, blue, or blonde, or just a mixture of black and colored highlights. This fashion was typed as a 'fad' by many but for the emo's, it was a statement and an expression of what they really are. People who are emo's are thought to be very sensitive, shy, angry, anti-social, and often lonely. That is the reason why they are always expected to inflict pain to their bodies by cutting or worse, commit suicide."
I am not the "typical emo", although I am into body hugging shirts as I believe that loose shirts are more prone to wrinkle and my hair is side swept, I do not wear all the accessories, make-ups, and I don't even cut myself (I hate blood, the sight of it would make me faint). An emo page on Facebook has a different set of comments, though. One wrote "Queer emo boys are freaking hot! I'm not emo but I love them! The eyeliner just hits me! Their crazy fashionable hair and the piercings drive me crazy!" Now, I feel even more confused. Am I just an emo? Or just a plain gay dude? Am I even worthy to be called an emo gay boy? 
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